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I always get some good laughs from visiting around the blogs on my blogroll, lots of jokes and funny stories... so I don't often post my own - Noel sent me these, and I wondered about posting them, then I read this bit:
Remember:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.
So I decided to post them ...
Subject: Getting Older.....
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
"And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia, poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over K-Mart.
"K-Mart?" the preacherexclaimed. "Why K-Mart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week ."
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
hmmm... perhaps I should wonder why he sent them to me?
"Queensland Time"
turningsixty
To everything There is a season ...
... saluting elderbloggers
9 Comments
Hahahahaha! These are good. I'm still giggling.
Hahahahaha! These are good. I'm still giggling.
Of course I don't have short-term memory loss! ;)
Here's a joke for you Della, seeing we are starting the week off with a laugh or three.
The company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO.
This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business! You know the kind, wanting to strut his stuff.
The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked, “How much money do you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied, “I make $300.00 a week. Why?”
The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, “Here’s four weeks’ pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back.”
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked,
“Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?”
From across the room came a voice,
“Pizza delivery guy from Dominos.”
Hmmm, what's scary is that I can relate to some of these!!
Good for a laugh though, thanks, Della.
Hope all is well within your world.
Robyn
Hello Della ~ Some great jokes there
and a laugh is always good for us.
Thanks for your comments while I was busy with my visitor. We had a great time, but it is good to get back to my blogging friends. I am so glad that you have finished the hardest work in your garden and only planting to do.You have done very well and should be pleased about your efforts. Soon you will see the rewards. Take care, Della, Love,
Merle.
We can never get too much laughter Della, I must admit my first thought was why did Noel send you these??? a death wish maybe??
Della,
What a woderful way to star off the day!;-)))
I'll be smiling and chuckling all day as these joke replay in my mind throughout the day. It'll certainly confirm for my friends that rel is a slight bit daft. lol
Thanks for the pick-me-up.
rel
Usually I don't like jokes because some people have nothing else to say to entertain a conversation but I have to admit these once were great they really made me laugh ! And the worst thing is there is a lot of truth !
Della, some of these jokes must be universal as they are making the email rounds in the USA, too. Guess humor knows no boundaries. Thanks for the morning giggle.
Hi Della
Great jokes still laughing out loud. Take care
Really funny, so glad you decided to post them.
Cheers Margaret
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